Building on Lies Page 4

  What makes me not so lucky is I go to school with lots of pretty girls. Cute, RICH girls, girls from wealthy Ardsley Park, the next town over from ours. Ro liked to point out not all of them were natural beauties like me, but what did that matter? They had the money to buy what they weren't born with.

  And even more unlucky for me, Samantha St. John was rich and naturally pretty. I’m sure it didn’t take her any longer than five minutes to get up in the morning and look fabulous. She had all the clothes, shoes, and bags to go along with her beauty. For her, looking good was probably effortless.

  Since I’m far from rich, and I don’t have designer anything, looking as good as the girls from Ardsley requires a greater effort on my part. My first half hour was spent applying all kinds of lotions and toners and moisturizers to make sure my somewhat oily skin doesn’t break out in zits. Samantha St. John’s zit problems were probably taken care of by a private dermatologist, but Nellie Depaola had to hope Neutrogena and Aveeno cleansers worked their magic.

  Then, ten minutes went on applying my make-up. I may be naturally pretty, but naturally pretty doesn’t cut it when you’re up against someone like Samantha St. John. Samantha’s face looked like a personal make up artist helped her out every morning, because her makeup always looked flawless. She probably bought all of her products at Sephora and could afford professional make up brushes. Me, I was stuck with stuff from Target, brushes from the drug store dollar section, and the help of You Tube videos.

  My last half hour before school was spent trying to come up with designer style outfits using my bargain priced clothes. This was the hardest task of all. How could you make a Forever 21 dress look like a designer dress? Or my thirty dollar Old Navy jeans look like three hundred dollar jeans? How about my Target brand sandals? How could I pass those off as boutique shoes? Did I have the right scarf to match? Could you tell my accessories came from the clearance rack?

  There was a time, last year to be exact, where I used to get up fifteen minutes before I needed to be at school. I'd tie my hair into a ponytail, and throw on a tee shirt and clean jeans, and be on my way. And makeup? Scented lip balm was as fancy as I got.

  That was before I started seeing Channing. Ro blamed Channing for my transformation from grungy gal to designer chick, but it wasn't entirely his fault. I mean, when he met me I was cowering in a closet! And even after we really got to know each other, I was still wearing my faded jeans and hoodies.

  It was when I saw what I was up against in Samantha St. John that I decided being pretty but plain wasn’t good enough. Every time I passed Samantha in the halls, with her glossy makeup and stylish clothes, I felt like maybe…just maybe…the reason Channing wouldn’t leave her for me was because I wasn’t rich, country club material.

  And now, despite knowing the real reason Channing won’t break up with Samantha, I still feel like I need to be just as spectacular looking as she is. Even if it means waking up before the sun has even risen to achieve her level of spectacular.

  What’s kind of tragic is Samantha doesn’t even know about me. I’m not on her radar at all. She walks past me in the halls and has no idea I’m copying her style and seeing her guy. I try not to think about how pathetic it is. Maybe competing with Samantha would feel worthwhile if she knew how much I’m trying to take her place. But she has no idea, and I’m sort of frightened to think about what would happen if she did know.

  I was trying to decide whether to wear my white tank top and matching sweats ( they looked just like a set Samantha wore last week) or a boho style dress when Ro came up behind me. She reached over and grabbed a black top and blue jeans, and trudged over to the bathroom.

  If only it were that easy for me!

  I decided on the boho dress because it was easier to dress up than a sweat suit, when Ro informed me Joaquim was going to pick us up for school.

  “ What? You didn’t tell me that?" I said, fiddling through my jewelry box for something to match the dress.

  “ Yeah, I sort of forgot to mention it last night. He wants to take us to the mall right after school so we can get our outfits for the Winter Dance," she said, with a shrug.

  “ Ro! I don’t want to go to the mall with Joaquim. How awkward is that?" I cried, putting on a whole bunch of bangles. I hated wearing bangles because my wrists were so small the bangles always slid off, but they were what best matched the dress.

  “ What do you mean, awkward? You’ve known Joaquim all your life," Ro said. “And you said you’re going to the Winter Dance with him, so why not shop together, to make sure your outfits match?”

  “ I just don’t want to give Joaquim the wrong idea," I said.

  “ Oh, but it’s OK to let your mom think he’s your boyfriend so you can use him as an excuse. You should hear yourself sometimes, Nellie”. Ro rolled her eyes. She pulled her long black hair into a ponytail, then looked at my outfit, not bothering to hide her distaste.

  “ Maybe you should wear something more comfortable if we’re going to the mall later," she suggested.

  I ignored her, and gave myself one more look in my full length mirror. The dress was pretty, but so not my style. I’ve always felt it was kind of ridiculous to go to school dressed like you’re going to a club, but it’s what all the rich girls at my school did. So, it was what I was going to do, too.

  I ran my fingers through my hair to fluff it up a bit, then searched for my bag. There was a honk outside. Ro looked out of our bedroom window.

  “ It’s Joaquim! And he picked up Tommy! Yay!" she said, her sharp face breaking into a huge smile. She was so happy to be with Tommy. It made me happy for her. If only she could feel the same about me and Channing.

  “ I thought you and Tommy already have what you’re going to wear," I said, as we made our way down the stairs and out of the house.

  “ I still need to buy my shoes and maybe a necklace," Ro said, waving at Tommy and Joaquim.

  Joaquim’s eyes lit up when he saw me, and I tried to match his enthusiastic smile. I’ve known Joaquim since kindergarten, and I swear he’s liked me ever since then. In grade school, he always used to follow me around, trying to share his bubble gum or candy with me, and invited me over to his house to play video games, or play in his backyard. By junior high, he’d switched to asking if I wanted to go bike riding or roller blading. He was always including me in his plans, and I was always happy to go along. Joaquim was a sweet guy, and fun to be with.

  When we got to high school, I started going with him and Ro and Tommy on double dates to the movies or out bowling. Joaquim always hinted he’d be more than happy to go out with me without our friends tagging along. I have to admit, I was kind of flattered by the constant attention. I hadn’t been very interested in ten year old Joaquim, but sixteen year old Joaquim was a lot better looking. With his long dark hair, brown eyes, and tall athletic body, he was definitely one of the hotter boys in our group. We’d flirted back and forth all through freshmen and sophomore year, and everyone thought we’d end up officially dating this year, our junior year.

  But that was before I fell for Channing at the start of junior year. Channing and I began seeing each other in late September, and I’d been avoiding Joaquim ever since. I know it confused poor Joaquim, because up until I’d met Channing, I’d been hanging out with Joaquim, even kissing him. Then, I just sort of dropped him cold.

  And it’s really too bad, because Joaquim is a nice guy. We have so much in common…from being Portuguese American, growing up in the same town with the same circle of friends. We hung out at the same places since we were kids. Our parents are also childhood friends. Better still, his best friend and my best friend were dating.

  But my heart belonged to Channing, and everything about Joaquim paled in comparison. I gave him a half hearted smile as I slid in beside him. He was driving his Dad’s pick up truck. It was a pretty cool double cabin truck, and I was surprised his Dad was letting him drive it.

  I told him so, and he said, “ He’s actually buyi
ng a new one. So, he’s letting me drive this one until he does. He wants to see if I can be responsible”.

  “ That’s so cool, Joaquim," I said, happy for him. Most guys in our side of town had to make do with riding the school bus to school, or walking wherever else they needed to get to.

  “ All the girls are going to go crazy for you in this truck," I teased.

  “ There’s only one girl I want to drive crazy," he said pointedly. I blushed and pretended to search for something in my bag.

  Ro saved me by mentioning the Lexington High Winter Dance. “ I can’t believe they’re going to have it at the Ardsley Grand Hotel this year! How cool is that?”

  “ Not cool, actually," Tommy grumbled. “ Not all of us live in Ardsley! I don’t see why they can’t have it at the high school like they do every year. It makes me feel like they don’t want us Cove kids at the dance this year”.

  “ Aw, I’m sure that’s not the case, Tommy," I said, defensively. “ I think this year the school decided to have the Winter dance at a nicer place than the gymnasium. Last years dance had such a big turnout, it was almost as big as senior prom. I don’t think they’re trying to keep anyone out, when so many students look forward to it”.

  “ Yeah? Then how come they’re charging for the dance this year?” Tommy asked, sounding annoyed. “ One hundred dollars! It’s always been free before. I’m telling you, they’re just trying to figure out ways to keep Cove kids out. I wouldn’t be surprised if they held senior prom at the Ardsley Country club, and the only way to go would be if you have membership!”

  Ro and Joaquim laughed, but I kept quiet. The whole Cove kids against Ardsley kids never bothered me before. A few months before, I probably would have agreed with him. My feelings had changed since I started dating Channing. He’d proved to me not all Ardsley kids were stuck up snobs.

  Our town is a coastal town in northern Massachusetts. It’s divided into two sections. There’s Ardsley Park, the area where most of the wealthy residents lived. Ardsley Park consisted of sprawling gated mansions and smooth tree-lined streets. It boasted a huge, elegant country club, private golf course, private beaches, as well as the historic Ardsley Grand Hotel, a luxury hotel built in the past century.

  Then there’s Egg Cove, which is mainly working class Portuguese American, the descendants of immigrants from the Azores, who came to work in the fisheries at the turn of the century. Egg Cove is a lot older than Ardsley Park, and it shows. Most of the houses are weathered clapboard houses, beaten down by the constant sea spray. Our streets are riddled with potholes, the result of years of fish trucks making their way to the harbor. We don’t have a country club, golf course or a grand hotel…the fanciest thing Egg Cove has is a mall, and a bowling alley.

  Egg Cove and Ardsley have only one school district in common, because the towns are too small to merit separate school districts. Some Ardsley kids attended private schools, but the majority attended the local schools, same as the Egg Cove kids. Their parents paid enough taxes and invested enough money into the PTA so that our public schools felt like private schools, anyway.

  Which was cool for the Ardsley kids, but not so cool for the Egg Cove kids, or “Cove kids”, as we were known. Everyday, we were reminded we went to school with kids whose parents earned six figure salaries. We showed up to our high school on foot, yellow bus, bikes, or catching rides with friends whose parents allowed them to drive their pick up trucks or rickety Hondas like mine. Their Ardsley kids, though, zoomed past us in their BMW’s, Mercedes and luxury SUV's.

  The Ardsley kids were constantly organizing school ski trips, day excursions to NYC, even study abroad programs, using money acquired through the many fundraisers they threw. Cove kids had to make do with organizing tours of the local lobster cannery. And even though the staff and faculty at Lexington High tried not to show any favoritism, it was usually who Cove kids got detention or suspension whenever they pulled any stunts in school, while Ardsley kids like Ty Sutton, who was known for his incessant pranks, got off with barely a reprimand.

  There was a lot of resentment within Cove kids against the Ardsley kids. It wasn't easy dealing with rich privileged kids at school. Ardsley kids treated us Cove students as if we were non-existent, some of them even treated us as if we were beneath them. There was a clear boundary between the two groups, and no one from Cove ever hung out with A-kids, or vice versa.

  Tommy spent the entire ride complaining about how most Cove kids didn’t have one hundred dollars to waste on a dance ( which was true) until I finally snapped and said, “ Well, Tommy, maybe you just shouldn’t go if you can’t afford it! It’s not like you’re obligated to be there!”

  Ro looked embarrassed, while Tommy sounded hurt.

  “ Sorry, Nellie. It’s just I wish the school board would consider we don’t all come from rich families. That’s all," he said, apologetically.

  “ It’s fine. I hear what you’re saying," I said, feeling kind of bad I’d snapped at him. He was right. My feelings were based on my relationship with Channing, and there was no way Tommy would know that. Ro gave me another hard look, but kept quiet.

  We got to school, and Joaquim pulled into a parking space. He hopped out and opened the door for me. I tried not to walk directly beside him. I didn’t want him to get any ideas about us being a couple.

  Joaquim sidled up next to me, though, and took my hand.

  “ Nellie, so… you are going to the dance with me, right?" he asked, and he sounded so nervous I felt sorry for him.

  “ Yeah," I said, softly, wanting to take my hand away, but not wanting to embarrass him either. “ I’d love to go with you, Joaquim”.

  He pretended to wipe sweat away from his forehead. “ Whew! I don’t know, but I was kind of nervous about asking you.”

  “ Why?" I asked, trying to ignore the looks from our friends who were watching us stroll down the hall hand in hand.

  “ Joaquim and Nellie are so cute together," I heard someone squeal, and I winced. I wished from the bottom of my heart it was me and Channing they were whispering about, not me and Joaquim.

  “ I don’t know, Nellie. I just feel like you and I aren’t as tight as we used to be, you know? You just seem kind of distant," Joaquim explained, looking at me carefully.

  “ Me? Distant? How?" I asked, and my voice sounded kind of shrill even to my own ears.

  “ You’ve become like the Invisible woman, for one thing. No one can ever find you. I’ve asked Ro to bring you to the bowling alley a couple of times, but she always says you’re not home, or you’re busy. And I can’t ever reach your cell either”.

  We stopped at my locker, and I opened it up to put my books away so I wouldn’t have to meet Joaquim’s eyes. I hated lying to him, but what could I say? I wasn’t hanging out with him because I was hanging out with another guy? A guy from Ardsley Park? And even worse, a guy who already had a girlfriend? Joaquim would lose all respect for me, and I couldn’t bear that. He was too good of a friend.

  “ I have been kinda busy," I said, vaguely.

  “ But you’re not avoiding me, right?" he asked, plaintively.

  “ Oh no, Joaquim!" I cried, turning to face him. “ Not at all! You know you’re one of my best friends”.

  Joaquim grinned, huge dimples forming in his cheeks. He leaned over close to me, and whispered, “ I’d like to be more than just best friends, Nellie. I really, really want to be your boyfriend”.

  Then he kissed me! Not on the lips, but a soft lingering kiss on the cheek, and what could I do? Push him away when there were kids in the hall staring at us? I couldn’t embarrass him like that.

  So I kissed him back, on the cheek, because hurt feelings or not, there was no way I was going to lead Joaquim on any more than I had to.

  And my luck being what it is…which is lousy…Channing happened to be walking down the hall at just that moment. I know he saw us, because my locker is smack in the middle of the corridor. The halls were emptying out as kids rushed off to t
heir homerooms, and Joaquim and I were one of few students still standing by lockers.

  I rarely see Channing in school, because even though we’re both juniors, we have totally different schedules. The only class we share is Sociology, which is only once a week, since it’s an elective class. Other than that, I’m lucky if I catch a glimpse of him even once a day.

  But today of all days, when Joaquim decides to confess how he feels about me, my boyfriend walks past. My first impulse was to run up to Channing and tell him the kiss between Joaquim and I meant nothing. He was just a friend!

  Especially since Channing slowed down just the tiniest bit when he saw us. A frown appeared on his handsome face, and his green eyes locked with mine. I couldn’t read his expression. Unlike me, Channing knew how to keep his feelings under control.

  Instead of rushing up to him though, I just looked away. There was nothing I could do. Channing and I couldn’t even acknowledge each other in school. We ran in totally different circles. I’d just have to wait until I spoke with him later to explain about Joaquim.

  I turned my attention back to Joaquim who was still breathing over me, looking lovestruck.

  “ I’m not sure I’m ready to get serious, Joaquim," I said, sounding a bit more angry than I should have. “ I mean, I think we need to hang out a little more," I added lamely, when I saw how hurt he looked.

  “ I understand, Nellie. I don’t want you to feel pressured or anything," he said, quickly. “ I just wanted you to know how I felt”.

  I nodded, then pretended I was running late. I gave him a little wave, but my eyes were scanning the corridor for Channing. If only we could just have a few minutes alone in school to talk…

  I was worried about Channing all day. I could barely focus in any of my classes, and as much as I’d convinced Ro I hadn’t needed to study for the English Lit test, I wished I had. I was so upset I forgot the little I’d bothered to study. I would be lucky if I managed to get even a C minus.